White chocolate jesus

the SECOND time that i was ever in washington courthouse,ohio...home of lectranama`s uncle byron...this is a story about byron carper...it was winter...and COLD...and he had...his electric grill element...in his above ground pool...so he could have a goldfish pond...and he said...put your hand in there...it`s warm...and it don`t hardly shock you .the end.
squidbillies...
i`m no stranger to the royal crown cola and moonpies myself,but......there but for the grace of BOB goes i...
the FIRST time i was there...we slept in a squidbilly camper in his backyard...and i took on the dreams of all the passed out squidbillies who had been there before me...that`s a story about me...
i saw a chocolate easter cross at kroger the other day and i thought of you.
awww...why??did i do something with one?do you think i should?
it was right between the bunnies....it just looked fun to eat
stapled an inflatable easter bunny to a cross that one easter chuch service...
so religious and ornate...perched there between the frilly bunnies with thier hollow ears.
the cross is hollow too....aren`t they all?
hollow as them bunny ears only worse cause you don`t expect them to be...
you don`t EXPECT them to be non weight bearing structures....then there you are...!1 minute up on them cross members....hangin....next minute....crumpled at the feet of a chocolate cross.
i want a chocolate crown of thorns with a chocolate spear....maybe three choconails,too...
you can`t NAIL chocolate jesus...you have to stick him to with melted almond bark...don`t leave him in the car with the windows up....gooey christ....
or just three chocolate nails....it takes a friend to drive that 3rd nail....whitman`s samplers...NO....godiva...
oh yeah...be HOT on ebay...NOW AVAILABLE!!!WHITE CHOCOLATE JESUS!!!dead sea swiss rolls!...
delivered in three days by dawn or your order is absolutely free....
for that SWEET salvation...only a stone`s roll away....
with a cutout shroud on every box...
shroud of deliciousness....mmmm sooo goood....

HAT...is a strong word

i heard about a documentary that pbs is doin` about a group of squidbillies in kintucky that claim to have found the rock that the mormon guy used to translate the golden plates.
uh huh....sure.he wasn`t a mormon til after he found the rock.....
my question is....do you have to do the translating while in the mystery hole?
i do some of my BEST translatin` there....and the barnhole,too.
it fell outta SOMEBODY`S ass not too long ago.
it`s FAKE,dammit!there..i said it.the mormons are a fake fake religion.not even a TRUE fake religion.
fault finders.false finders of false faults.
a man may sticketh his carrot into many women`s mystery holes if he marrieth them first.....but never in thier barnholes...and if you do by accident you better pull it out...and a woman can`t just go around gettin` carroted willy nilly.i can`t support ANY religion that discourages woman from bein horndogs.i`m a half hard 7 inch adventist...that`s half hard...bdbfbd.
i`m a flatulent agnostic.
i`m sure i truly believe that i just farted...i can go with that.hold on....i just joined your faith!!!!soy beans led me to it!!!soy farts don`t smell like much by the way.
like tofu taste?
sometimes they SOUND like they`re gonna smell but then they don`t.
like tofu taste.....exactly.
i get tofu chiken strips...the artificial flavour taste more like chick than chick does.
frightening.my compliments to the chemist.
if you`re allergic you have to get faux fu.seriously...i saw it at the whole food store.allergic to tofu...sounds to weak to survive.wonder what fauxfu is made from?
fauxfu....damn.cows,prolly.or people.SOILENT GREEN!!!
they have.....PRODUCTS....that are organic...yet....faux.....not sure i get it.i get flame kissed soy burgers that have grill marks.i swear you can taste the lighter fluid.and tofu beef strips that melt in your mouth.
oooohhhhhh.....they bred a cow with m and m`s.i want an apple that taste like buffalo stew.
but the weiners taste like they been in my butt.so i RARELY eat them.
have they???been???in your butt???
ever have kosher dogs?expensive.hebrew expensive.but that`s one tasty weinie.they cood figure out how to make a tasty veggie dog..the jqews...where did that Q come from?i can never find one when i need one....
ssshhh!they`ll hear.little hebrews have BIG ears.
they don`t cotten much to jews down here.but they let the gypsies run wild.go figger.
easy target.like vegatarians at a bull fight.follow the phlegm...you`ll find someone to smite.over there!smite THEM!the gods demand a target.
plus they DID off jesus and he is OUR LORD around here.
only through the roman prxies...roman proxies...the jesus pixies...
it`s failure to evolve.the world changed...jews didn`t.we don`t HAT the jews anymore.they just BORE us.
HAT...is a strong word.